Honor Bound by Nancy Henderson

Author:Nancy Henderson [Henderson, Nancy]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Published: 2020-12-11T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Five

Standing Bear did not know how he had gotten so foolish. He had coupled with women before but never one with no forethought, and a white woman at that. He never did things without first contemplating them many times over in his head. Ivy was the first instinctive thing he had ever done.

He did not want to imagine what the consequences would be for defiling a white woman. It was wrong to regret her, he knew, but this was so different. She was so different.

He quickly dressed, looked around to see where Ivy had gone off to. She had run up the bank and put on that hideously heavy dress. He pictured her wearing a deerskin dress like the women in his village, and in his mind’s eye she was beautiful.

He studied her now, timid and glancing back at him like she would run if he approached too quickly. She looked like she was going to cry. No doubt she regretted everything.

Bear should not regret. With Ivy, it had been one of the strongest releases he had ever experienced. He did not know if it was because she was someone different or if for some other reason. Maybe it was a sign that he should be with her.

He slowly approached her, towered over her at a loss for words. She was lacing her bodice, likely trying to busy herself so as not to notice him. He wanted to know her thoughts, what she thought of him, if she regretted what they had done. “What are you thinking?”

She looked up as if surprised then shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Are you ashamed?”

“Ashamed?”

He did not know why she was looking so confused. From her expression he could tell something was wrong. She regretted everything. There was no denying it. She thought him less than a man because of his race. Suddenly he wanted to leave her here alone to fend for herself.

“I’ve never been with anyone before.”

Bear did not think he had heard her correctly. Never been with a man? Slowly her words settled over him and his regret turned to shock. He had never been with a virgin.

He was foolish. He should have known. He would have been slower or perhaps not done this at all. Had he known beforehand he would have made absolutely certain that she was sure she wanted him as her first.

Bear had never been anyone’s first.

Maybe she had not been certain. Maybe she thought he had forced her somehow.

The need to protect her, comfort her, was overwhelming and he did not understand his feelings. He knelt down in front of her and wrapped his arms around her.

“I am sorry. I did not know it was your first time.”

“Does that make me bad?”

“Why would it?”

“I—You’re supposed to…I barely know you.”

Bear did not know how to answer so he hugged her. She wrapped her arms around his waist. Suddenly it felt like he had been with her for a lifetime. He did not know where the future led them, but he felt that he could not leave her to go to Albany on her own now.

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